Moonlight Sonata

Showcasing at the Democratic National Convention this summer is the Crap Cannon or the Brown Note, an acoustic weapon capable of making a person defecate involutarily. There will also be a sneak preview of Raytheon's Active Denial System (ADS). This is not the first time that military contractors have displayed their wares at political events. There were repeated reports of the New York Police Department's (NYPD) use of the Long Range Acoustic Device (LRAD) weapon at the Republican National Convention that took place in New York in 2004. Like the Brown Note, the LRAD works on an acoustic frequency and is designed to deafen a target by creating a ringing in the ears. Save the Tchaicovsky's Overture of 1812, these weapons are nonlethal and are to be used as crowd barriers to prevent fatalities. The Discovery Channel's team of experts at MythBusters dispute whether the Brown Note can even achieve the involuntary bowel spasms leaving the rest of us laymen to conjecture on the entire field of the acoustic weaponry.